I wonder. As the brain tries to compensate for the damage done in a TBI it probably uses several methods. In a brain that has been, to use the words of Elvis, “All shook up” the range of damage will go from almost not there to nothing left at all. Sorry about the technical terms. So the brain is an extremely complex organism that relies on both neural pathways for a form of electronic communication and chemical communication. Chemical communication depends on the ability of the adjoining brain cells to detect the chemical releases aimed its direction.
I believe that the brain can repair the damage that is minuet and that other sections of the brain can take on the duties of a nonfunctional area. However this is a process that requires time and conditions to proceed successfully. Any physical repair possible will begin immediately. There is still debate on the brains ability to regenerate its tissue.
As the brain rewires itself it is focusing on the areas that are being asked to perform. As I was taught how to walk it took some weeks for another area of my brain to learn how to tell my right leg to move. This was because the therapist worked daily exercising that part of my brain. Then as I continued to try to walk, some times without assistance (to the consternation of the hospital staff) my brains ability to control my leg increased rapidly.
Now here’s the point. Our brains are incredible organisms that in their complexity employ uncountable delicate balances to operate properly. So if during the long rewiring process the survivor experiences mental stimulation in specific areas, will those areas, by being used more, become dominate thus causing imbalances in ones mental processes?
I suspect that some of the issues I have now are because, as I faced a world that was in many ways new to me, I was literally painting on a new canvas. The experiences I have endured are those that have helped to remodel my brain. There is no doubt that I am a very different person from who I was before. I don’t like all of who I am right now. It is my hope that as I continue to paint on this canvas of my life I will be able to more carefully choose the paint of my experiences, thus helping create a better me and balancing out the bad I’ve gone through.

Spinning

Watching news on the price individuals pay for the ideals this country was built on. The price is often their lives. One young marine said he was called to fight for what is true and right. What are the ideals we hold dear?? Honor, integrity, truth, justice. We talk of these high moral standards and hold them up in our history books, literature, and they are promoted in our entertainment, our movies, books, and the stories we tell. However it is important to look past the hype and observe reality. Reality is something many of us avoid till it bites us in the ass with a wake up call that removes the blinders we choose by accepting what we are told with out question. What is that reality? Those who rise to positions of power and authority all present an outward image matching our expectations of these values but what happens when their positions are threatened? They hide, they lie, they violate what we hold dear. Look at the whistle blowers who shine a spotlight on the truth who bravely risk career and sometimes their lives following those principles. Even our court system, that bastion of upholding right and wrong, often sends some to prison in the name of justice to qualify for more funding, to keep their numbers up, to win elections, to secure their position and power. Look at how many have been released from prison once DNA testing proved with out any question their innocence. And still their prosecutors refuse to admit error. It is commonly recognized that our government avoids responsibility for actions. We even have created language for this process. We call it spinning. We often hear "cover-up". This is reality, the American way, clear evidence that power corrupts. I now have to fight this to obtain freedom and justice for myself.

This came after we were asked to find another church

I Looked
I looked for understanding in the place where they profess compassion and found none
I looked for friendship there but they backed away, veiling their horror at my audacity
distancing themselves to avoid the contamination of my presence
they looked but did not see
they are blind in their preconceptions
their view of how the world should be
of who is good
what is acceptable
they could not see my heart
my love
my loneliness
my desire to be good
to be a part of them
to be accepted
they only saw I was different
I was imperfect
I wasn’t like them
I was poor
so I will go
and they will lose
for I bring gifts
I can teach them to see
I can show them how to be who they profess to be
what it means to care
how to receive the blessings they desire
how to live and have life
but they rejected me and thus rejected my gifts.
Even in the desert flowers bloom. The one pictuured I took in West Texas on my grandmothers farm.
How many thoughts I have lost by not being able to write them down. I don’t pretend to be all that but this conveys the emotions I have gone through and there is a power in the art of poetry, an art I need to cultivate as I seek recognition and attempt to bring changes in the hearts of those I can touch thus accomplishing the only thing that has lasting value. Better than riches is a changed life.

First spouting off, What I think

What a country. It’s election time here in Toledo and that brings out all kinds of stuff. I was going to say the best and worst of people, if candidates fit the classification of people, but I think it will be more accurate to say the worst. Here in America we pride ourselves on having ethics like “honesty”. Honestly, do you really see honesty spouted and practiced around you? Come on, be honest now. It always sounds good but those who talk about honesty the most are often those who are the most deceptive.
Here’s what I’m talking about. First I must set the stage for those of you who are not from here and thus have missed the barrage of broadsides these two factions are pulling out of their hats. Mayor Ford is Fighting to be reelected after one term in office and Carty Finkbiener (I’m sure I spelled this wrong) is a former mayor who has two terms under his belt. Carty is known as a hothead and Ford is the deadest public speaker I have heard. Just slow like Moollaaasess.
They signed a non mudslinging positive campaign pact and were both proud to spout that fact to all. That didn’t last long. As soon as Carty’s ratings went up Ford came out with guns blazing. Now what these honest politicians do is research their opponents life for anything they can spin to make him look bad.
One of the things Ford comes out with is Carty spent two million dollars on the old steam plant downtown but “Nothing got built” as if Carty just irresponsibly blew the money away. So what did he do with the money? I think he cleaned up the place including hazardous waste that prevented any possible use for this structure that is parked on the river downtown in the middle of the only public function park there.
Carty dug up dirt also but hasn’t been as underhanded as Ford. He hit Ford on the lack of success reviving dead or dying malls or getting a stadium of some type built. Now it’s a race to impress us with their grand schemes to remedy these problems so on the same day both came out with these great deals they had just put together. There are press conferences and introductions of key players in this high stakes game of one upmanship. (I made that word up) Of course both of them act like they have been working on these projects for a lifetime when the truth is they pulled them out of their ass in record time. Now if they would work that hard when in office this would be a grand city.
So, back to deception. We are so used to being lied to we don’t seem to see it when it’s right in front of us. Actually deception is expected and often admired, it is a big part of our culture. We all have our fronts, the façade we present to the world. We tell the story to make us look good or noble. We smile and are flattering to those we despise because it benefits us.
Now to the professional deceivers. The drug companies who hide ill effects of their product, the infomercial con artists, the religious fleecier of the flock, and of course the winners of the grand prize; Politicians. The higher up the ladder you go the slicker the lies and deceptions get. Why is this? Because they hire and pay professionals to create deceptions for them. Now it becomes art. The art of telling you what to think. Nuff said.

First post for this one

This is the first post of my second blog. Another step in the creation of my web book. I never figured how to get my picture in the profile with the other blog, walkedwithangels.blogspot.com but what can I say. I'm not real computer literate but have an excuse. I will probably move the journal over here eventually but will use it to mouth off for now.